Thursday, May 21, 2009
A few nights at Foxwoods and some warm tea for the Bruins

We are all heart broken over that stupid fluke of a goal by the losers from one of those tobacco loving states down below the IHOP/Waffle House line.

The team is taking it even harder. Chara has returned to his enchanted Island. Since being back on that island he has only eaten three virgins as opposed to his normal nine. He just does not have any thing left in the tank to rape, pillage and smash babies against rocks and who can blame him?

Lucic has headed home to America's Hat (aka Canada) where he is old enough to drink and is probably spending time with his many Grand Children. He has not chopped a single tree down and refuses to eat maple syrup and Poutine. Next time we see him he will be bearded and obsessed not with hockey but bootleg copies of Joni Mitchell.

Tim Thomas can't even get his old job back at Chrysler because they have shut down all their plants.

Manny Fernandez is giving up goals to my nephew's pee-wee team as I write this. Keep those skills sharp Manny!!! We might need you to play goal for a few minutes against the Kings next year.

So what advice do I give? They should do what I did. Get all three hundred dollars that my girlfriend is hiding from me in her tampon box and blow it on one hand of Blackjack at Foxwoods. Then drink Bourbon mixed with green tea because that would be the healthy thing to do. All I can say for now is we will be back, mark my words... and mark them well...

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